Ultimate Marvel VS Capcom 3 is kind of a tricky game. It's meant to be accessible to newcomers, and, to a point, it is. The controls are simple and easy-to-learn, and the mission mode gives players some sample combos to practice until they can learn the more complex stuff. On the other hand, if you're a casual player, and you fight someone who knows the game inside-and-out...there is no hope for you. You WILL be ended. But enough logical analysis of the game, let's hear what FFG has to say!
Our reviewer is Sam again, a.k.a the only reviewer on this site I have even a modicum of respect for, and that's only for his Mega Man 9 review (ironically, another Capcom game). He starts out by explaining that UMvC3 is a better version of MvC3, there's new content and that he's reviewing the 360 version.
All right, basic stuff so far. I'm not seeing anything too bad.
Sam then describes what a fighting game is and explains how UMvC3 is. My only complaint is that the way he words this paragraph, it seems like he's saying all fighting games involves teams of 3 characters, but still nothing major.
He makes a brief quip about how flashy the Hyper Combos are (but doesn't mention them by name) and then describes UMvC3 as like a club, and that it's "the opposite of a family."
Oh, for the love of... That's like saying that sports are "exclusive" because you won't do well if you don't practice! Families are based around unconditional love and emotional bonds that are formed through living with someone and knowing them. Gaming communities, sports, clubs and the like are based around mutual interest and skill in a certain area. Just because you can't instantly be good at something the second you pick it up doesn't mean it's exclusive!
We then get the usual spiel we get from FFG about female characters wearing revealing outfits, and he mentions that "almost every female character" is dressed like this.
Y'know, except for Trone Bonne, Jill, Phoenix, Amaterasu...
Isn't she technically naked?
She's a wolf, you sick freak!
Sam then notes that while there is violence, the special attack cover it.
Um...no they don't...Shin Shoryuken, Fourth Wall Crisis, Final Justice, Bionic Maneuvers, Maximum Spider, Tools Of Survival...all of these are attacks that are quite "violent" and clearly shown. If he's talking about projectiles, then he's still wrong! A beam attack isn't covering the violence, the beam is the violence!
Time to talk about sound. Sam gets some respect points for mentioning that the narrator's voice made him feel like he was at the arcade, but loses some for then complaining about language. He does, however, compliment the music, which is, admittedly, one of the cooler aspects of UMvC3.
"Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3 contains a dizzying amount of unlockable
content."
Um, no it doesn't.
"Two players can bash each others faces in locally, or go online
to do it with up to eight players. There are leaderboards so you can see
where you stack up."
None of that is unlockable! The only unlockables are Galactus mode, titles and things in the gallery! There are no secret characters, stages or modes. A Gallery full of images and character theme songs is not "dizzying."
And now we get to the true idiocy of the review. Sam essentially splits players of this game into two groups - button mashers and "people who have a degree in the controls." He also says that a button masher like him (he admits this) can win most of their fights and that this "irritates those
that take the time to comprehend the fighting system in Ultimate Marvel
vs Capcom 3."
No. No no no. I say thee nay. That is completely wrong. A button masher will not last 5 seconds against someone who knows what they're doing. Furthermore, there is a fairly large difference between "button mashing beginner" and "200-hit combo wielding god."
Sam warns the reader that this game is an "adults only" game and that despite the point of the game being to defeat Galactus, he feels like he was just "fighting for the sake of fighting."
It's. A fighting. Game. OF COURSE YOU ARE GOING TO BE FIGHTING! Defeating Galactus is only the point of the Arcade mode - most people bought this game to play it against other people, which is, indeed, fighting for the sake of fighting.
Sam says that he has "matured beyond this" and that he'd rather be out helping people.
The final paragraph has Sam state that UMvC3 is for adults only, and that it will encourage aggressive behavior in children, "as scientific studies have shown." He ends by asking if you think your children will be able to handle the content in UMvC3.
Video games do not cause violence! Holy crap, how many times are people going to say this?! Look, I'm not going to go into that here - Penn and Teller tackled it quite nicely, I recommend their episode on the subject. Just because a part of the brain lights up doesn't mean that the stimulus in question enhances, encourages or causes any kind of behavior! And no, I don't think small children should play UMvC, and I doubt anyone else would, either - maybe that's why there's a clearly visible "T" on the front of the box!
This review completely lost any credibility near the end, because Sam clearly doesn't know what he's talking about. I have a review in mind for next week, unless someone gives me a request beforehand. Until then, dear readers.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Beyond Good, Evil, AND Competency!
I apologize for the insanely long wait between these posts. I've probably said this before but I will make an attempt to be more on-the-ball with this and stop missing posts, especially considering this hasn't been so much a "missed post" as "dropping off the face of the Earth," Anyways, we've got another reader suggestion this time, from Neo_Lion1991. Coincidentally, this will also be the first time I look at a review of a game I have not played, unless you count Ninja Gaiden Black, since I've only ever played Sigma. All right, let's check out FFG's review of Beyond Good & Evil.
Our reviewer this time is Paul. It doesn't say whether it's the same Paul who reviewed Pokemon Black and Pokemon White, but I'm going under the assumption that it is. Paul begins by saying that Beyond Good & Evil came from their request page, and mentions that it is available on the Gamecube, Xbox, PC and PS2, but he played the PS2 version for this review. He says that the game was critically praised, but that "following the crowds has never been something Family Friendly Gaming has ever been about."
No, you're about over-analyzing video games and over-reacting to the smallest thing that doesn't meet your approval...*looks around* What? Tell me I'm wrong!
He describes Jade as a "journalist, photographer and anti-establishment paranoid woman," and that "she starts out with a pig-man who has helped raise her." He describes how there is a rebellion going on against the government and "this outside force," and that attacks on Jade's planet are common, mentioning the killing of enemies as an "unhappy chore."
Has this guy EVER seen Star Wars?! I mean, I've never even touched this game, but I am looking it up so I can verify Paul's claims, and the plot sounds a little bit like Star Wars. Rebellion, war in space, evil empire...I mean, I could be horribly wrong, but it sounds at least somewhat similar. Does this guy have a problem with rebelling against oppressive, evil governments? This guy would HATE Eragon, Star Wars, The Bartimaeus Trilogy (particularly the parts with Kitty), The Hunger Games...
You done yet?
...*catches breath* Proceed.
Paul says that the graphics are dark and that it makes it hard to see where you're supposed to go, and that the camera is troublesome. Paul mentions that dead bodies are left on the ground in certain areas, and that there are instances of characters being tortured, kidnapped and killed, mentions that there are "minor occult symbols" and that "Jade's attire is borderline enticement to lust.
First of all, the game is rated "T." Just because something has cartoon animals in it doesn't mean it was intended for kids. Look at Jak & Daxter for an example. That game is intended for teens and young adults - so is Beyond Good & Evil. Second, if the game's too dark, you can just change the brightness on the TV. I mean, sure, it is kind of a flaw in the game, but an easily fixed one. Third, Jade's clothes do not "entice lust." Ivy from Soul Calibur IV, Litchi Faye-Ling from BlazBlue, Rachel from Ninja Gaiden - those are characters with revealing outfits. Jade wears a tank top, jacket and jeans. That is not an outfit with a lot of sex appeal.
"There are also images of animals that may be encouraging the religion of evolution."
What.
"There are also images of animals that may be encouraging the religion of evolution."
ARE. YOU. KIDDING ME?! Evolution is not a religion. Islam is a religion. Judaism is a religion. Christianity is a religion. Hell, even Scientology is a religion. EVOLUTION IS NOT A RELIGION. People do not go to science labs and pray to Darwin! Evolution is a widely-accepted scientific theory, perhaps the most widely-accepted next to THE BIG FREAKING BANG! How many more paragraphs are in this thing?
Three.
Bring it on.
Paul mentions that there is some foul language and that God's name is used in vain a few times. He also mentions "minor name-calling and gross humor."
How can you complain about a pig that uses fart-powered jet boots?! How can you complain about something that awesome?!
He also mentions the sounds of characters being tortured, and that the good sound quality makes it more disturbing. Okay, I'll give him that one, sounds of torture are unnerving, no matter what medium they're in. He also complains that the game is hard and that the death sound will get annoying over time, and from what I've heard about this game, that's still a legitimate point.
Next is a complaint that there is little reason to play a level again, except to get pictures and items.
So...the same reason anyone backtracks in a game?
Paul remarks that the game's content will turn away most players (judging by the game's reputation, it didn't) and that the game is a waste of money. He then begins...praising the controls? Hello, non-sequitar, how are you? Oh, this was just to segue into his gripe about the levels being poorly designed and that it's hard to find your way around.
Gee, it's almost like you have to look for where to go! The sources I've found say that the game plays a bit like a Sci-Fi Zelda, meaning that it makes sense to have to look for your next objective. I could be completely wrong, but that's just what I infer.
Paul begins his final paragraph by saying that the game teaches the player to distrust the government and "disobey the authorities God has allowed over you."
You mean like how America rebelled against the British because of insane taxes and generally being treated like crap? Yeah, I got facts, too, buddy - a rebellion isn't bad if the people being rebelled against are in the wrong, you moron
He then says that the game was a "chore to play and that the ending is open for a sequel (which is being developed, but this was not so at the time of this review). Paul goes on the remark that he "has no interested in a sequel."
Or proper grammar and spelling, for that matter.
He says that he will "happily put this game in the vault..."
There's a vault? ...Does it have Battletoads?
and that "there are better games."
Name one. I'm serious. Name one game you see as better than this one, and why. There must be at least one game you can approve of that wasn't meant for small children. I doubt anyone from FFG would ever see this "challenge," but I would LOVE to see what they'd list as a "better game." Hell, I'd love to see a list of games, one for every review I've done. But that's never happening. These people seem to me like the kind who think their opinion is law. But I digress. This review had a few legitimate points, but it was bogged down by nonsensical complaints and pointless bitching about the most trivial things, like Jade's supposedly risque outfit. Unless I get another reader suggestion, next week will be one from my list. Until next time, later.
Our reviewer this time is Paul. It doesn't say whether it's the same Paul who reviewed Pokemon Black and Pokemon White, but I'm going under the assumption that it is. Paul begins by saying that Beyond Good & Evil came from their request page, and mentions that it is available on the Gamecube, Xbox, PC and PS2, but he played the PS2 version for this review. He says that the game was critically praised, but that "following the crowds has never been something Family Friendly Gaming has ever been about."
No, you're about over-analyzing video games and over-reacting to the smallest thing that doesn't meet your approval...*looks around* What? Tell me I'm wrong!
He describes Jade as a "journalist, photographer and anti-establishment paranoid woman," and that "she starts out with a pig-man who has helped raise her." He describes how there is a rebellion going on against the government and "this outside force," and that attacks on Jade's planet are common, mentioning the killing of enemies as an "unhappy chore."
Has this guy EVER seen Star Wars?! I mean, I've never even touched this game, but I am looking it up so I can verify Paul's claims, and the plot sounds a little bit like Star Wars. Rebellion, war in space, evil empire...I mean, I could be horribly wrong, but it sounds at least somewhat similar. Does this guy have a problem with rebelling against oppressive, evil governments? This guy would HATE Eragon, Star Wars, The Bartimaeus Trilogy (particularly the parts with Kitty), The Hunger Games...
You done yet?
...*catches breath* Proceed.
Paul says that the graphics are dark and that it makes it hard to see where you're supposed to go, and that the camera is troublesome. Paul mentions that dead bodies are left on the ground in certain areas, and that there are instances of characters being tortured, kidnapped and killed, mentions that there are "minor occult symbols" and that "Jade's attire is borderline enticement to lust.
First of all, the game is rated "T." Just because something has cartoon animals in it doesn't mean it was intended for kids. Look at Jak & Daxter for an example. That game is intended for teens and young adults - so is Beyond Good & Evil. Second, if the game's too dark, you can just change the brightness on the TV. I mean, sure, it is kind of a flaw in the game, but an easily fixed one. Third, Jade's clothes do not "entice lust." Ivy from Soul Calibur IV, Litchi Faye-Ling from BlazBlue, Rachel from Ninja Gaiden - those are characters with revealing outfits. Jade wears a tank top, jacket and jeans. That is not an outfit with a lot of sex appeal.
"There are also images of animals that may be encouraging the religion of evolution."
What.
"There are also images of animals that may be encouraging the religion of evolution."
ARE. YOU. KIDDING ME?! Evolution is not a religion. Islam is a religion. Judaism is a religion. Christianity is a religion. Hell, even Scientology is a religion. EVOLUTION IS NOT A RELIGION. People do not go to science labs and pray to Darwin! Evolution is a widely-accepted scientific theory, perhaps the most widely-accepted next to THE BIG FREAKING BANG! How many more paragraphs are in this thing?
Three.
Bring it on.
Paul mentions that there is some foul language and that God's name is used in vain a few times. He also mentions "minor name-calling and gross humor."
How can you complain about a pig that uses fart-powered jet boots?! How can you complain about something that awesome?!
He also mentions the sounds of characters being tortured, and that the good sound quality makes it more disturbing. Okay, I'll give him that one, sounds of torture are unnerving, no matter what medium they're in. He also complains that the game is hard and that the death sound will get annoying over time, and from what I've heard about this game, that's still a legitimate point.
Next is a complaint that there is little reason to play a level again, except to get pictures and items.
So...the same reason anyone backtracks in a game?
Paul remarks that the game's content will turn away most players (judging by the game's reputation, it didn't) and that the game is a waste of money. He then begins...praising the controls? Hello, non-sequitar, how are you? Oh, this was just to segue into his gripe about the levels being poorly designed and that it's hard to find your way around.
Gee, it's almost like you have to look for where to go! The sources I've found say that the game plays a bit like a Sci-Fi Zelda, meaning that it makes sense to have to look for your next objective. I could be completely wrong, but that's just what I infer.
Paul begins his final paragraph by saying that the game teaches the player to distrust the government and "disobey the authorities God has allowed over you."
You mean like how America rebelled against the British because of insane taxes and generally being treated like crap? Yeah, I got facts, too, buddy - a rebellion isn't bad if the people being rebelled against are in the wrong, you moron
He then says that the game was a "chore to play and that the ending is open for a sequel (which is being developed, but this was not so at the time of this review). Paul goes on the remark that he "has no interested in a sequel."
Or proper grammar and spelling, for that matter.
He says that he will "happily put this game in the vault..."
There's a vault? ...Does it have Battletoads?
and that "there are better games."
Name one. I'm serious. Name one game you see as better than this one, and why. There must be at least one game you can approve of that wasn't meant for small children. I doubt anyone from FFG would ever see this "challenge," but I would LOVE to see what they'd list as a "better game." Hell, I'd love to see a list of games, one for every review I've done. But that's never happening. These people seem to me like the kind who think their opinion is law. But I digress. This review had a few legitimate points, but it was bogged down by nonsensical complaints and pointless bitching about the most trivial things, like Jade's supposedly risque outfit. Unless I get another reader suggestion, next week will be one from my list. Until next time, later.
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